♪♪
(crowd cheering)
(water bubbling)
(boy, using deep voice) One day I will grow shark teeth and‐‐
(high pitched voice) Oh no!
Help me, help me!
The evil Star King is coming.
(deepened voice) Don't worry.
I'll save you, nice mermaid lady.
(groaning)
(panting)
(clattering)
Oh,
(woman) Okay, everybody up!
Get up!
Did you hear me?
♪♪
Every freaking morning.
Come on.
♪ Caught in a cold sweat stuck splitting hairs ♪
♪ I'm drinking too much ♪
♪ I'm on my way to striking out ♪
♪ Go to sleep with the pressure of everyone ♪
♪ Watching waiting they're yours for the taking ♪
♪ But I still have my doubts ♪
♪ I still have my doubts ♪
♪ Before you ask which way to go... ♪
(woman) Lu!
(Telulah) Mmm... Mary.
Lu.
Mary.
I said get up.
Come on, come on, come on.
And no screams tonight, honey.
You got that?
I'm not gonna forget that.
That is one thing I'm not gonna forget.
Is that music?
Don't come in.
Didn't you set your alarm.
God, I heard you.
I'm up, I'm awake.
I'm getting ready, okay?
Leave me alone.
No, I'm not gonna leave you alone, Telulah Farrow.
I'm up. Oh, come on,
you're gonna miss the bus, honey.
I can't drive you today.
I actually have things of my own to do.
Come on. Mmm!
Go to the post office?
♪ This ship is sinking I'm thinking I'm done for ♪
♪ I watch as the sails disappear underwater ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm no captain yet ♪
♪ I'm no captain ♪
♪ I said before you ask which way to go ♪
♪ Remember where you've been... ♪♪
10,000 notes.
Oh my God.
I'm throwing up.
(chuckling)
(phone thuds)
Hmm...
Hello.
It's your birthday.
Happy birthday.
Mwah!
So cute.
(exhaling)
What are you doing in my closet?! (camera snaps)
And give me my camera!
You better not have wasted any of this battery, okay?
Now get out.
Go, go, go, go.
This better not show up anywhere.
(Mary) Hi, you look nice.
I hate what I'm wearing.
Oh, aren't those a little short?
Thanks a lot, Mom.
Now my whole day's ruined.
Very dramatic. You look beautiful.
I'm just concerned, honey‐‐ They're not too short.
And I'm wearing tights with them.
Honey, I'm just concerned because I can't save you today.
Maybe you should bring some jeans or something.
Well, I don't have any good jeans.
You don't have any good jeans?
What about the ones we just bought?
Lu, what about the ones we just bought?
(Telulah) Hi, Alex.
Um... how's it going?
I'm making this video clearly because it's your birthday,
and that's very exciting,
and, um, I just wanted to wish you
a happy, happy, happy birthday
and tell you how much I love you, and the whole band.
Jack's crazy.
And everyone is great, but you already know that.
Um, but, yeah, I just wanted to say happy birthday‐‐
Oh my God, I cannot believe you put that in there.
I am peeing.
I was literally up all night making that
and now I'm screwed.
I have like a day, not even.
I have six hours and three minutes
to come up with a movie trailer for my film class.
And you so have to help me.
I‐‐ I was thinking like a montage.
A‐‐ a‐‐ a day in the life of a high school kid.
Something easy to shoot.
Ooh, so it's like a drama.
You don't understand.
I need this for my reel.
What am I gonna show colleges?
My stuff on Cartwhl.
I'm never getting into a good film school
and then I'll be stuck here the rest of my life
with my mom and father
and Joey will have moved out by then and I'll have to
work at the Thrifty Mart
so I can afford gas to drive the car back that I borrowed
to the Thrifty Mart, where all my coworkers are eating
corn chips and beef jerky
and I'll have to use that stock boy Jeff to star
in all my sad, little videos
because everyone else I know will already be
at the place they end up.
And I'm eating corn chips with random people.
(cell phone clicking)
(brakes squealing)
Yo, quit it!
Yo, quit it, man!
(door creaking)
Yo!
(door creaking)
Mr. Miyagi!
You're too slow.
You're too slow for me, stupid Hashtag.
Hey, no dogs allowed!
(whimpering)
Every day.
Yeah, every day, man.
Stupid Hashtag.
Go home, Carmel!
Go home!
(whimpering)
You gotta be more careful this time,
you almost screwed it up.
Well, you didn't tell me he was right behind me.
(Jamie) Oh, hey, what up, Charlie?
Hey, Telulah.
(Telulah, with British accent) Hi, Charles.
(door creaking)
(Telulah) James, James?!
Where are you off to so lickety‐split?
Hey, Telulah, I saw one of your music montages
on Facebook last night‐‐
Oh, heh...
Not my best effort, I'm afraid.
No, no, no, no, no.
Hey, well, uh...
I thought it was really good.
Yeah.
My friend's in a band who, uh, they sound like‐‐
like them, from where I used to live.
What's their name?
Really, Charles?
He's your friend?
Yeah. (both chuckling)
Do you like it here?
Yeah, it's okay.
Uh, still getting used to it, I guess.
Well, your arrival has made the lacrosse team happy,
which is probably hard to do, right?
Sorry, love.
Gotta blow.
Um, what the hell did she just say to you?!
Did she just proposition you orally?
Or‐‐ Gothic slut!
And why were you on the bus today anyway?
You were supposed to pick me up. Yeah, well.
Hey, Katie.
Did you see my Insty?
Yeah, cute.
Oh, hi, Emily.
You saw Insty this morning?
(Emily) Yeah, uh‐huh.
Well?
Look, I‐‐ I never said I was gonna pick you up,
and she's not Goth.
Oh God, look at this, Charlie.
You can get a sexually transmitted disease
from Gothic women.
She's not Goth.
She's British.
Are you kidding me?!
Well, do you know what British girls can give?
Okay, well, look at this.
Look at this!
Oh...
(Telulah, British accent) If you knew anything more
than how to give your pony an erection‐‐
exclamation point, exclamation point‐‐
(using normal voice) then you'd know that emo took the place of Goth
a long time ago
and scene took the place of emo,
my fashion‐blogging Insty queen.
Sure, there are still girls like Holly,
who need a boyfriend to validate their high school existence,
but these days there's so much more here
at Huntville High.
That's right.
It's no longer just popular kids, nerds, jocks,
and stoners who gather in high school hallways across America.
♪ Of all the right guys... ♪
Sure, traditional social groups
still exist...
but with social networking,
it brings a new, ever‐changing assortment.
♪ She's showing off the way she walks ♪
♪ It's on ♪
♪ Take me show me ♪
♪ Whoa‐oh, whoa‐oh ♪
Like you can tell who's a freshman pretty easily
because they all seem to thing UGGs are still a thing.
But by this time next year,
many will have graduated over to the fashion bloggers.
They drink their coffee black.
It's very serious.
Now the fashion bloggers often overlap with
the preppy, popular girls.
But if you look at how they punctuate their text,
you can definitely tell the difference.
Don't let their pearl earrings
and Lilly Pulitzer lifestyle deceive you.
These girls can be found either shoe shopping
or puking in your living room.
Check Vine for daily updates.
Lacrosse is big here but so is soccer,
and ironically these teams compete with each other.
But instead of black eyes and bloody noses,
last season these teams got into a huge Twitter fight,
and while the subtweets were quite amusing,
the coaches were forced to ban all players from Twitter
for the entire season.
Personally, I'd rather be punched.
Others will end up here.
Among the MySpace leftovers.
This is a dangerous group
because just one match can cause spontaneous combustion
But you know what really irritates me?
Here at Huntville High the most popular girl in our school
doesn't even go to our school.
She doesn't even live in the same state
and she's the most popular girl here.
(man on PA) Good morning.
As part of Huntville High's new health initiative,
cakes and cookies have been removed
from all school menus.
A bake sale will be held today
to raise funds for the initiative.
(students gasping)
Surprise, people.
We're having a quiz today.
Sit down, Mr. Edwards!
Okay, people, these questions will be familiar to those
of you who actually listened this week.
No, no whining.
Riley, what's my motto?
"I'm a big baldie with a cow brand on my arm."
Say it, Riley.
"Those who don't understand history
are desperate to repeat it this summer."
"I'm a big baldie with a cow brand on my arm."
Say it!
"I'm a big baldie with a cow brand on my arm."
(class laughing)
He‐‐ he Evangelicalisted me.
These are Greek letters.
Do you even know where Greece is?!
Yes, Kim.
I'm feeling frightened and disturbed, Mr. Somma.
Me too, Kim, me too.
People...
That's Darvan.
He's in a category I didn't mention
because he's very rare.
He's a super senior,
meaning he's been a high school senior here more than once.
Why didn't you tell me we were having a test today,
Telulah Farrow?!
... possibility of a quiz.
Get started!
Yo, Telulah Farrow, what's the answer, Telulah Farrow?
Shh, Darvan, it's a surprise quiz.
That's not even a surprise.
Were you surprised, Telulah Farrow?
Did you jump back and go, "Whoa, I am surprised at this quiz"?
While Mr. Somma's approach to education
is somewhat aggressive,
the science department's centuries‐old Mrs. Smith
has completely lost her faculties.
She doesn't wear diapers or anything
but she's always very tired
and always, always angry about labs.
One day, she pointed to the ceiling
and said to Hashtag...
You know where you're going, mister?
And Hashtag goes...
In‐school suspension, Mrs. Smith.
And she looked at him kind of crazy‐eyed,
scoffed, and said...
No.
To the moon.
You're going to the moon.
Yes.
Though mildly confused by Mrs. Smith's uncharacteristic
outburst, Hashtag was totally excited,
until he realized in fact
he was not going to the moon.
To this day, whenever Mrs. Smith points her finger
for any given reason, the entire class yells...
(all) To the moon!
(texting)
Hey.
I have three hours and 12 minutes to upload,
edit and hand in my trailer.
I think I got some good stuff, though.
(cell phone alerting)
What?
I even shot Mrs. Smith and Hashtag.
Yeah.
Claire Bovary is moving here.
What?
The Claire Bovary?
(cell phone alerting)
I feel like that sucks.
Ugh.
Doesn't your mom get that I don't like mayo?
I guess it's something about her dad's job.
It seems odd the most popular girl in our school
might actually start going to our school.
Look at your phone.
I mean, everyone's talking about it.
(texting, message alerts)
Why does everyone love her?
Literally no one here has ever even met her in person.
Well, except Josh.
They so had sex.
Um, yeah, they met at camp when he was like ten
and he hasn't seen her since.
She lives in like Florida or something.
Who? Claire?
He could've still did it.
He's barely "pubertish" now.
Well, she's friends with everyone in our school
because of him, so...
Because of Facebook.
Well, whatever.
Josh still loves her.
I love Josh.
He was in my film class
and uses her name in like all his film titles.
"She Don't Claire," "Handle With Claire."
His first one was like "Claire Bear" something.
Anna isn't a good name for titles.
It doesn't even go with anything.
Except "banana."
(scoffing)
Oh, no way!
No, they're mine!
No, get off!
Give me my fruit things.
No!
Hands off my fruit things.
What are you doing?
(startled gasping)
Zoo Crew.
(students screaming)
Ahh!
♪♪
Wait, Jamie!
I gotta shoot this.
The Zoo Crew is made up of stealth,
angry seniors who lost their lunch room privileges.
They steal milk crates off the school delivery trucks
so that...
(boy) Ooh, nailed her!
... if you're hit, by seventh period,
you're gonna smell like...
(screaming)
Hey, down!
♪ I'm not about to be a shut‐in ♪
Get down!
Uh... (with British accent) Really, I mean , though.
Come on, your camera.
♪♪
(grunts)
Insty.
Pop‐punk bitch.
(man) Okay, settle.
Settle, everybody, settle.
Please put your name on the scrap of paper
you've just received.
I have a very big announcement.
Very, very big news.
All right.
Two weeks ago,
I assigned you to create a film trailer.
Now some of you have turned those in.
Many of you have not.
So why do you suppose
I assigned a film trailer?
Anybody?
I will tell you.
Because your final project
will be to create
a short film,
a real film, a whole film‐‐ beginning, middle, end‐‐
based on your trailer.
Everybody say, "Holy Kurosawa!"
(all) Holy Kurosawa!
But there's more.
The best three final films, judged by me‐‐
and I encourage you to IMDB me‐‐
will be shown on the big screen
at a real movie theater
this June at the Community Art Center's Annual Film Festival.
Whoa!
It is up to you...
my brilliant, young students,
to find the true spirit
of independent film.
Now, every other one of you please
fold your piece of paper and put it in this can.
Who...
who here will be the next genius?
Does he mean me?
Do I put one in.
(whispering) I'll be the next genius.
Just put your name in, dude.
Okay.
Start thinking.
Percolate your brains.
Documentary.
Music video.
Short narrative.
What inspires you?
What are you passionate about?
Okay, now those
who didn't put their name in here,
I want you to chose one out of there.
That person will be your partner.
But‐‐ and this is a big but‐‐
(chuckling)
Oh.
Uh, if I don't have your trailer
by the end of ninth period today,
I will not consider you for the film festival.
(girl) Seriously.
No, you must learn, people.
Production is preproduction.
What is production?
(all) Preproduction.
Correct.
Nice of you to join us, Darvan.
Please chose one.
Thank you, Mister...
Mister...
Shoot, sorry, I got a lot of you guys.
Telulah Farrow.
I won you.
(man) Think about it, people.
(chuckling) I got myself.
That's so cool.
I'll tell you what, Darvan.
There are two things I love in this world,
and making films is one of them.
Am I the other?
I have to be in that film festival, Darvan. Yeah.
And with you as my partner,
I have half the chance of making it.
You know, 'cause some people care about stuff, Darvan.
You see Josh over there?
He's wearing Claire flair.
Of course they'll win.
She's friends with our very own teacher.
And OBEY girl over there has a better camera
than Martin Scorsese.
That's his name, Martin Scorsese‐‐
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Our teacher's name is Martin Scorsese.
Oh, thank you.
(chuckling) Yeah.
(sniffing)
You smell like milk.
(Darvan) Yo, Telulah Farrow, wait up.
I meant to tell you your boots are busted
by the way it sour smells.
And that milk, you really stink, Telulah.
I'm sorry to say, forgive my bluntness,
but you stink.
Yo, Telulah Farrow, you don't have to get all
"Gossip Girl" on me.
Dude, check it out.
Epiphany just got an ISS from Mrs. Stacy.
She's been on like a rampage since the milk fight.
(sighing)
Hi, Darvan. What's up?
So yeah, you better watch your Alex birthday outfit‐‐
Wait, this is perfect for my trailer.
ISS is in‐school suspension.
Ms. Stacy lives to get girls like me in ISS.
Darvan, I know you're behind me.
Please... get out.
I'm being such a helpful partner,
Telulah Farrow.
(Telulah) Girls who care about how they dress
come to the school wearing sweatpants over
their real outfits and pull them off at their lockers.
They spend the rest of the day dodging Ms. Stacy.
Mostly that means hiding behind each other.
Usually it works, but other times...
♪♪
(school bell ringing)
Yeah, I'm thinking of getting a hat.
Sort of a cap.
Maybe it'll say "Security."
Maybe not.
We don't know that yet.
She has favorites and I'm not one of them.
Darvan, you get to class right now
unless you plan on being here another five years‐‐ Hey.
Okay, my secret lover.
Darvan, please don't move.
Darvan, get to class. (whispering) Please, don't move, Darvan.
I'll make a phone call. I'm going, I'm going.
(whispering) Say, "Darvan, you're so cute." (whispering) What?
Say it, say, "Darvan, you're so cute."
Darvan, you're so cute.
(laughing)
I saved you, Telulah Farrow.
I'm your hero.
Gotta go find me a cape now and a Batmobile.
Maybe a super‐sonic Dar‐car.
Yeah.
Or a Dar‐van.
(cackling)
You‐‐ you said, "Dar‐van."
You just might be funny.
(Ms. Stacy) I thought I told you to get to class, Dar‐van.
Oh, oh...
What do we have here?
Hold on a minute.
Girl.
I believe those shorts break school rules,
don't they?
Really?
I didn't think so.
(Jamie) Charlie.
(Holly) Oh, I'll hold those for you.
Let's see how things measure up.
As suspected.
Clearly not regulation.
Your mom know you're wearing this?
(with British accent) Actually, Ms., my mum bought me this.
I think it's quite nice.
Why would you insult my mum like that?
What'd you say?
My mum.
Who do you think you are, girl?
Kate Middleton?
Hmm.
Rather lovely, yes, but, um...
I'm more of a Pippa really.
Pippa, a Pippa?
How about ISS, Ms. Pippa?
Three days next week.
But right now...
it's school nurse for you.
Move it. Keep going.
Insty.
(cell phone clicking)
What is wrong with you?
If you don't like what you're wearing,
it will ruin your entire day at school.
It's sexist and unfair.
The boys never get harassed for what they wear.
Hello, this is Mary's phone. Please leave a message.
(cell phone beeping) Mom, where are you?
This has been the worst day of my life.
And it's Alex's birthday.
Just... I only have 47 minutes left.
Please pick up the phone.
(sighing)
I can't go to class like this.
It's not even ironic.
Maybe it is a little.
(sighing)
Geometry.
Blah‐blah‐blah.
In this equation, we'll be using the new math.
Blah‐blah‐blah.
Now don't use the old new math.
Use the new new math.
It's a little freaky if you're not used to it.
A gifted Huntville art student perfected eyeball stickers
about two years ago,
and she's been selling them online ever since.
Mr. Goldfarb thinks his students are really into geometry.
I guess it helps he's practically blind.
Blah‐blah.
Okay, let me see what I have
and then I can put something together
to just give him an idea.
(beeping, student yawning)
What?
No, no.
I‐‐ I don't understand.
(shrieking)
(gasping)
I'm so sorry, Math Wizard.
I just came to check on my new partner.
Hey, Telulah Farrow.
Hey.
I was worried about you.
(gasping)
That's just messed up.
Oh my God, what are you wearing?
Insty.
(cell phone clicking)
(sighs)
(gasping)
(Darvan) Telulah Farrow, wait.
Hey, hey, hey.
Telulah, what's up?
Telulah Farrow, we need to discuss our project
so we can be famous.
I didn't make the trailer, Darvan.
I spent too much time on a birthday video
that got like 500,000 notes.
500,000.
But not one mention from anyone in the band.
I'm just a stupid fan girl,
and I don't have a camera and I don't have a trailer.
You better tell our film teacher you need a new partner.
What‐‐ what trailer, Telulah Farrow?
Don't we need to make the movie first?
Bye.
I'm trying to be very big to scare him
but I think he likes me now.
Hashtag, duh.
(growling)
♪♪
♪ My ship went down ♪
♪ In a sea of sound ♪
♪ When I woke up alone ♪
♪ I had everything ♪
♪ A handful of moments ♪
♪ I wished I could change ♪
♪ And a tongue like a nightmare ♪
♪ That cut like a blade ♪
♪ In a city of fools ♪
♪ I was careful and cool ♪
♪ But they tore me apart ♪
♪ Like a hurricane ♪
♪ A handful of moments ♪
♪ I wished I could change ♪
♪ But I was carried away ♪
♪ Give me therapy ♪
♪ I'm a walking travesty ♪
♪ But I'm smiling at everything ♪
♪ Therapy ♪
♪ You were never a friend to me ♪
♪ And you can keep all your misery ♪♪
(groaning)
What happened to you?
Where were you?
It was the worst day of my life.
What‐‐ what happened?
What's wrong?
(Mary) Hey, honey...
why don't you go hang out with your friends
instead of staring at that computer.
(sighing)
Because I hate my friends.
You love your friends.
They suck, I wanna move.
Oh yeah.
Where?
London. London?
(cell phone clicking)
What are you doing?
(cell phone clicking)
Mom, why do you have so much makeup on?
Oh, do you like it?
I had it professionally done.
You don't know anybody in London.
Some of my best friends are in London.
They talk just like me.
What...
Is that why you couldn't pick me up from school today?
You had to have someone do your makeup?
Oh, you try to talk like them.
No.
On Cartwhl.
I'm not even going to begin to explain it.
We have similar blogs, similar interests.
We like the same bands.
Well, I'm getting a Facebook.
I don't know how to respond to that.
Are you trying to be the last person on earth?
I guess I'm feeling...
Yeah, I'm feeling a little left out of things.
Do you think I should get a professional picture taken?
No, we make fun of people who do that.
Why?
(cell phone clicking)
Mom, there's an art to taking a selfie and this is not it.
So cute in that.
Aw.
Um, I forgot that there was somebody who called
who wanted your email address.
I don't know anyone who emails.
Paul, your film teacher.
And I tried to find it but I couldn't‐‐
I just didn't remember the secret password
and your dad is still on the plane.
Well, Dad's pretty predictable.
Oh, yeah, here it is.
He just wants to meet before school on Monday,
so that's fine.
Yeah.
Okay.
I bet I could guess the password.
Let me see.
Yup, that's it.
It's your birthday.
There you go.
Oh, it's my birthday. Yup.
That's smart. Yeah.
Thank you. Mm‐hmm.
Don't get mad at me.
Joey?!
You hardly even use it.
You have your phone, Telulah.
Look, Joey, this is very personal.
Each song on here says something about each year of my life.
I love this iPod.
It's...
But you said you hate everything.
Almost everything.
Do you hate Jamie?
Yes.
Do you hate...
Do you hate these?
Yes.
Do you hate... this dog?
Yes.
Do you hate...
this backpack? Yes.
Do you hate this pen? Yes.
Do you hate this brush? Yes.
Do you hate your room? Yeah.
Do you hate me?
Yes, I hate you so much
that I'm going to give you Flissac.
But you must take very good care of him, okay?
Okay.
Wait a second.
(water sloshing)
Here.
But, Joey, this is Mermaid Lady.
Uh‐huh.
She has boobies.
I think I broke your camera.
I'm sorry.
Do you want Flissac back?
No.
No, I think it was the milk.
(birds chirping)
I heard kids are putting poop on the computer now.
Just taking pictures of it, posting it.
You're always texting on the toilet.
Maybe it's some kind of contest of something‐‐
What?
(sighing)
I said it's a new day, Lu.
It's a new day.
And don't worry, honey, Paul thinks very highly of you.
And who the heck
is that?
What?
I didn't know Mr. Somma teaches morning driver's ed.
You may start the vehicle.
(engine revving)
It's okay, Kim. Take a deep breath.
(chuckling)
Mom?!
Now put on your blinker...
and move away from the curb.
Don't get so close.
I'm serious.
Oh, come on, Lu, come on.
Why can't I just have a normal mom?
All right.
Just messing with the driver's ed. student.
She doesn't even see me.
(shifting)
(loud thud, tires screeching)
Did I kill something?
Oh...
Mom.
What?
You didn't check your mirror.
You have a car right behind you.
Bam‐‐ like that‐‐
we're broadsided.
I wanna get out.
I hate driving. I wanna get out!
(Paul) ... the rules, she did not
abide by the rules.
(Darvan) I understand, I understand all of that
but it's just‐‐ it's just‐‐
Look at this, man.
Just look.
Come on.
She went through all this work.
I heard about the whole trailer situation.
It's just not fair, Mr. Scorsese.
I made it very clear when it was due.
All right, but‐‐ but Telulah Farrow is so talented.
She's your best student.
Look what she can do.
Look.
Look, look, look.
I don't even like this music
and she got all these kids
listening to it.
I appreciate you coming in.
Thank you.
Oh, hi, Telulah.
(gasping)
Thanks for coming in early.
I've got a big problem here.
Can't you get down?
Darvan.
I gotta say, he's a very creative kid,
and so are you.
Your video‐‐ who is it?
All Time Low?
It's extremely well done,
and I've decided to accept it as your trailer.
But with one condition.
I would like you to film
the upcoming Spring Talent Fest
for the school's website.
Really?
Thank you, Paul, thank you so much.
Um... yeah.
That's what I wanted to do that night anyway.
I mean, if someone asked me what I wanted to do
the night of the Spring Talent Fest,
I would say, "Film it."
Obviously.
Well, you can thank your partner for that.
Now there's something else I wanna tell you.
You of course know who Tina Fey is...
You mean Ms. Norbury?
Of course, I mean, the first female head writer of "SNL."
I respect her work so much.
Well, there's a pretty good chance she's gonna be judging
the film fest in June.
(gasping)
Oh my God! I know.
So you're gonna have to bring your best.
And this is important to you, Telulah,
but it's also important to me and Huntville High
and this video program.
Oh my God, I am throwing up.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
All right, apparently she's very interested
in emerging talent,
and especially emerging female talent.
That's you.
(both chuckling)
And listen, hey, even if it doesn't work out with her,
don't worry.
I do know people.
God, has no one IMDB‐ed me?!
Really, I've been involved in over 13 films.
14‐‐ I'm an EP on your film too.
That's 14.
So great.
(man on PA) Good morning.
The Procrastinators Club meeting scheduled for today
has been postponed 'til Thursday at 2:30.
(Holly) I wonder what it's like
to be a boy who gets to be with me?
(Kim) I wonder if I'm still growing.
(Holly) lTelulah is totally not a virgin.
(Telulah) Hey, everyone, did you see Holly's hickey?
(scoffing)
(boy) My hair looks so fresh today.
It should be illegal.
(Riley) Maybe Boba Fett is alive!
(Darvan) Yo.
(Kim) I want Mr. Somma to reprimand me.
Hey, Telulah, um, I wanted to make sure
everything was okay.
You know, the other day, that was insane.
Yeah.
Oh, nice, milky white legs, Telulah.
I literally thought you were wearing white leggings.
She's British, Holly.
Not everyone is perpetually tan.
Well, maybe she's like afraid of the sun or something.
Yeah, like a vampire.
♪♪
Wait, what is that?
(girl) Whoa, I'm like drawn to it.
It's so beautiful and bright.
Hmm.
(gasping)
(Holly) Oh my God!
It's Claire Bovary!
You guys, it's‐‐
Everyone, Claire Bovary has arrived!
(girl) Wow, she's beautiful.
(girl 2) Oh my God.
(Holly) Loser Telulah.
I think I'm gonna go now.
My milky white legs are taking me this way.
And she's speaking fluent French.
She's so smart.
I can't. Amazing.
Did someone just mention Telulah?
Telulah Farrow?
I've been wanting to meet her.
Ew. Why?
No.
(cell phone clicking)
(typing)
Mom, I need a new camera for school.
Uh‐huh.
(cell phone clicking)
It's for a really big project.
Could mean my future in film.
Terrible.
Remember that festival I was telling you about.
Well, if I'm chosen,
my work will be seen by very important people.
Plus, my teacher asked me to film the talent fest
which is, you know, also a really big deal.
So...
(sighing)
Could put it on my college résumé.
Well, can't you use your phone for that?
No.
Honey, that's a very expensive camera.
Meanwhile, look at this, look at this... Can't use my phone.
Do I really look like that?
I look like a man.
My face is shape shifting or something like that.
Hey, kid.
Has my face changed since I've met you?
From the time when I was one day old?
Yeah.
When's Dad coming home?
In about a week.
You can call him, Joey.
Hey, I have an idea.
Toss on an old sweater, some boot‐cut jeans,
I'll take your photo, okay,
with my new camera, and you'll look so good
I'll barely have to Photoshop you.
It's perfect.
So should it look like I take my own picture or not?
(Mary) Telulah, you better not be on Cartwhl again.
And did you do your SAT question of the day?
I'm so getting a tattoo.
Not while you live here you're not.
Just listen.
It would be so small.
Just lyrics in Alex's own handwriting.
"You're safe from the weight of the world."
It's so cute.
No, there's no way.
You're underage, you need my permission.
A tattoo is a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling.
Mom, all feelings are temporary
unless you remember them.
So if I get one, I'll remember.
No.
You only remember that you had a moment
you don't actually feel the feeling again.
Plus, it's low class.
According to you everyone is low class
because all my friends are getting tattoos.
I don't care what all your friends are doing.
No.
You have beautiful skin.
Don't ruin it.
I can't wait to get out of this house and do whatever I want.
And then she's like, "But you have beautiful skin.
You don't wanna ruin it."
And then I'm just like,
"Mom, I'm not Emma Stone white.
If I was, I wouldn't even be doing this."
Yeah, you're not.
All right, first apply this cream to your hands and feet,
knuckles, fingers,
toenails, fingernails, and under your fingernails
'cause those areas can get like four times darker
and this cream will help protect them.
Put on this hairnet.
Here's a towel.
Step into the booth, put your left foot on the letter "C"
and your right foot on the letter "A."
And when the spray starts, don't scrunch up your face
and don't breathe it in.
Just do like this.
Keep your hands at your sides with your palms facing in.
When the spray stops,
turn quarter of the way around until finished.
There's a recorded message to walk you through.
Your tan will darken over the next few hours.
Are you ready?
Jamie, don't leave me.
(indistinct chatter)
Oh, hi, Petey.
Are you ready for me?
Oh, it'll just be a few more minutes, Holly.
Someone's in there.
But this is my usual time, Petey.
Reserved just for me.
Remember?
Telulah Farrow?!
Wait, so what's going‐‐ what's happening now?
I don't know, I'm really confused.
You're supposed to listen to the robot lady.
Well, there's no voice coming‐‐
Well, you're closer to her.
Hold‐‐ Okay, here we go.
Okay. All right, all right.
It's going really fast. Yeah, that's the machine‐‐ duh!
No, but it's too fast. Okay, well, how do you know?
Are you an expert on these things?
I looked it up! (robotic voice) Your spray tan is complete.
Wait, it's going‐‐ did you change‐‐
Yes, I changed it‐‐ When did you change it?
Did you press a button?
Telulah, I didn't press any buttons, okay?
You're supposed to be pressing all the buttons.
I didn't touch anything.
Oh, it's in my eyes, Jamie.
Jamie, this is so bad‐‐ Okay, don't scrunch up your face.
You're scrunching up your face, you don't scrunch up‐‐
Okay, it's gonna be uneven if you do that!
What are you doing? I'm trying to defend it!
I'm blocking‐‐
You're gonna get an uneven spray tan
and that will look worse than this.
But I don't want a spray tan anymore!
(cell phone alerting) Stop texting me.
(cell phone ringing) God.
I'm on my way.
I have everything.
Calm down, I just...
Oh,
Ah, shoot.
Listen, honey, I'll be home in five minutes.
Everything is gonna be okay.
God.
Oh...
There's something about life handing you lemons.
Well, I can't believe you just said that.
But thanks.
Do I know you?
Yeah.
Mary, it's Mike Bovary from Burner High School,
class of '82.
Oh, Mike. Yeah.
(chuckling) Hi.
Yeah, I mean, I thought that was you in there,
but I wasn't‐‐ I wasn't sure.
Oh.
Yeah, you‐‐ you look great.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, well, lemons are actually an excellent source
of bioflavonoids and nutrients
and, well...
thank you very much.
Yeah.
(crickets chirping)
Well, I'll be damned.
Darned.
Who puts a picture of his dog on there?
He's cute.
Real cute.
Oh, hey, ladies.
You look hot, Mrs. Farrow.
I do?
(girl) I love your makeup.
Okay, all right.
Well, hey, how's it going up there.
Telulah said you had loofahs, right?
Yeah, in the kitchen.
Thanks. Got it.
Thanks.
Hey, Lu, I'm leaving.
I'm gonna go to the, uh‐‐ that concert‐‐
the new concert place, The Space,
and your brother's downstairs so be sure to check on him.
Lu!
Okay, here I go.
I‐‐ I'm leaving.
Gonna have a great time.
Whoo!
Yay, me! Bye!
So that girl Claire, she's in my science class
and she's like, "I love your blog.
I've been following you on Cartwhl for like two years."
Yeah, Claire's pretty chill.
Well, yeah, she's‐‐
she's probably not that chill.
Just everyone saying she's chill makes her like a bit chiller
than she actually is.
I'm not saying I'm completely chill
but I am considerably chill, so I am a pretty good judge.
Mm‐hmm.
(laughing)
I... I...
I should not have drank that much wine.
I'm sorry if I said too much.
Oh no worries, no worries.
The band drowned you out a bit.
What?
That's not funny, that's not funny.
So how...
Mike, I don't remember the last time I danced like that.
Oh, I was worried that's how you normally dance.
I'm sorry.
You keep setting me up, I can't help myself.
I'm glad you had a good time.
That's not funny at all.
I know, it's so stupid.
It couldn't have been more stupid.
That's 'cause I'm an idiot, you'll get to know that.
(door closing)
Did you know the Equal Rights Amendment never became one?
It was never ratified.
It's not in the US Constitution.
It says right here that women still aren't covered
by our constitution the way men are.
Don't you think that sucks?
Not if we can have guns.
(Anna) I can burn my bra.
It's kind of big.
Telulah, aren't you supposed to be looking for movie ideas?
I want it to be the best film I've ever made
and I think that's paralyzing me.
(sighing)
I just wish I could meet them.
Just Alex.
And Jack and Rian and Zack.
Then maybe my project wouldn't suck so much
and I could actually get into a decent film school
and I wouldn't have to live here the rest of my life.
My guidance counselor tells me that there is
a college for everyone.
Like what would you even say to them?
All Time Low?
Yeah.
Something really witty and intelligent.
Something that doesn't imply I'm a scary fan girl
but gives off more of like an "Oh, oh, yeah, you're that band.
"I've heard a few of your songs before.
"You're not that impressive.
"So try to impress me.
Because I winged my eyeliner for this," kind of feel.
Well, I heard Claire's dad's in the music business.
Maybe Claire can help you.
Yeah, she's so amazing.
I was talking to her third period about
the shampoo she uses.
Her hair is so freaking smooth
yet somehow also bouncy.
No wonder Josh loves her.
I don't love Josh anymore.
I only like a percentage of him.
I like the left side of his face.
Well, it's still worth a shot.
What was your very first album?
Do you remember?
Yup.
Yeah, Santana, "Abraxas."
Whoa.
I'm not kidding.
My‐‐ my dad worked at a record company
and he'd bring home all these albums
and that was my first.
Yeah.
And then my brothers took it
'cause it had boobies on the cover.
(chuckling)
I woulda had you pegged for Cat Stevens.
Oh, well...
Yeah, he's messed up now‐‐ no thank you.
He's messed up now, though.
Ew!
Why didn't you shave your knee?
It's my filter.
If a guy only notices
that one thing about me then he's an .
Do the feminists know about filters?
Yeah, think so.
Uh, Darvan never answers my text.
I don't have a partner, I don't have a camera
and I'm orange.
I'm never going back to school.
Okay.
Five minutes and you have to soak again
and loofah, Telulah.
I think you're trying way to hard to defend pop punk.
Oh.
Are you gonna kiss me or something?
What?
Oh... God, no, no.
"Oh God, no."
What about the jeans and everything?!
I didn't mean it like that.
Oh...
I mean, I was just gonna say that, uh...
there can come a time when, you know,
he never comes back.
I mean, even from Canada.
What?
What, who said that?
Who told you that?
My wife.
My wife loved classic rock.
Always hanging backstage with the bands.
You know, then one day, out of nowhere,
she just takes off with a country music star.
That's insulting.
Oh.
Yeah, that's insulting.
That's... that's insulting.
She's been in Nashville...
for two years.
Oh.
Insult on top of insult.
Yeah.
Now, the move here has been really good for Claire.
Still, it's really hard, you know.
I mean, I'd like to see her get angry.
I really would. Yeah.
But she just wants everybody to be happy.
So I'm trying.
I mean, you know, I'm really‐‐
I'm really trying.
Yeah, that's all kids want.
They just want everybody to be happy.
I know.
Have you ever heard of that band called All Time Low?
You ever gonna take that off?
I'm getting ready for my oral report.
Dad says if I practice a lot I won't be nervous.
He's gonna help me when he gets home.
My friend Steve's parents are getting a divorce
and his dad got another house
and Steve's gonna have a room with an Xbox in it
so he'll have two Xboxes.
Really.
Anna's parents are getting divorced too.
Mom's on a date.
Somebody took her in a big car.
Come here, Ben Franklin.
Mom doesn't go on dates
because she's married to Dad.
She's at a show with some friends, silly.
(video game gunfire)
She wouldn't even know how to date.
All I know is that there's a man's face on my forearm.
(woman) What? What do you mean?
Whose face?
I don't know.
I mean, possibly that guy but...
(gasping)
Oh my God. What?
Diane, Cat Steven's face is on my forearm.
Oh God, it's gotta be henna.
Is it henna?
Holy Mary.
Whoa.
Adult telephone conversation.
Hold on, honey. What?
Hi.
What's going on?
You still orange? No.
What the hell did you do?
Well, I'm pretty sure we were‐‐
oh, ow‐‐ in Tommy Tattoos around 2:00 last night.
Oh my God!
Why do I keep rhyming?!
Calm down.
Don't tell me to calm down, Lu.
I'm the mother.
Wait, you were at Tommy Tattoos last night?
Let me see, oh my‐‐
Why is Grandma on your arm?
Grandma.
You will never be my first tattoo, Mom.
(Diane) Mary?
Uh...
Ow!
No, Diane!
I think Jamie's sister is driving us to school early.
Okay.
And Joey's still sleeping.
Sounds good.
(Diane) Good freaking parenting.
Diane...
♪♪
Now, Thomas, you ever wonder what
the very last song you here is?
No, Johnson, I never wonder that.
Oh, come on, man.
(bells jingling)
Hey, boys.
Give me three light and sweet.
You mean if I listened to music in the car
and got into a fiery crash?
Yes, yes, like that!
Good morning, Telulah.
Well, then, let's hope it's the Thomas song I hear.
♪ Oh, why, why, why, Thomas ♪
♪ Why, why, why, Thomas ♪
♪ It's here, it's here, it's here ♪
Welcome to heaven, dear Thomas.
God's been waiting for you with Arabica beans.
No, man, no.
I mean before the angels sing.
I never imagine it.
Well, what if it just so happens
to be the very same song
as the very first song you ever hear
in your life on this earth?
Why do you think like this?
All I'm saying is it could happen!
And I could marry your mother and you could be my son
and Telulah could be your babysitter.
And I could use the work,
but only if he was a little boy, a much smaller Johnson.
(chuckling)
Under two Johnson.
(laughing)
A little mini pee‐pee.
Thomas!
Teeny‐tiny. No, stop.
Stop it.
(laughing)
Oh, you must be Alex.
(Thomas laughing)
Telulah, it's on me for making me laugh so hard.
Telulah, it's a sweet name.
Throw up.
Anything could happen.
I'm throwing up! Ah, I'm throwing up!
Don't let her in if she's throwing up.
Shut up, it's something she says lot.
You shut up. You shut up!
Oh.
What happened?
It was him, it was him.
Who?
He was standing right behind me
and I didn't know.
How could that be?
And, I‐I‐‐ Thomas was there and Johnson was there
and Arabica beans. (horn honking)
Oh, my God, shut up, sister. You're scaring the old people!
Open the door!
Do you really think I wouldn't know Alex Gaskarth?
I even know his mother's maiden name!
I know all their mother's maiden names.
Okay, get in the car, take a breath.
Here you go, see, we're gonna have coffee talk.
All right.
It was him. It‐‐ it was him.
It was‐‐ it was definitely him.
If there was just a photo of‐‐ of Jack
and just a sliver of Alex's elbow in there,
I would definitely know it was Alex's elbow!
Well, that would be because they're in the same band.
Hey, shut up! You shut up.
He was so cute with the little hoodie
and his bed head.
I couldn't think. I said, "Throw up."
I don't‐‐ oh, God.
I told him to throw up.
What is that, like a command or something?
I just...
Oh, God, I think I'm really gonna be sick.
Do you wanna know what a command is?
Shut up!
You shut up!
I can't go to school. I have to find him.
All right, dude, no.
The dreaded Spring Talent Fest is tonight.
You haven't even started making your film
and it's due in like four days, six hours, and 22 minutes.
It‐‐ you made that up.
Hello, Tina Fey?
(sighing)
Drink up.
Use this to shoot the Spring Talent Fest tonight.
And then, you know, just hang onto it for your final project.
You should've told me your camera was busted.
What have you been using?
Well, Darvan and I have been very hard at work,
but I don't wanna give away too much.
All right.
But, uh, no phones.
Yeah. Okay.
Thank you, Paul. This is so nice, um...
I'll do a good job.
Yes, you will. Thank you.
(chuckling)
You really must be practicing a lot, Charlie.
We've met only a few times and I'd say you're ready.
Hmm, I'm really nervous, Claire.
I've never done this before.
I'm so glad you kept it a secret.
Don't worry or you won't enjoy it when it's happening.
Just relax, Charlie.
Nothing could be more romantic.
Karl's got swooshed!
What?
Wait, Scene Boy, come back!
Does Jamie know?
(school bell ringing)
♪♪
(inaudible dialogue)
♪ People say that ever cloud has a silver lining ♪
♪ But they have never wrecked a car ♪
♪ And killed two of their friends ♪
♪ And they have never seen someone do too much heroin ♪
♪ So those people don't know
♪ And people say little clichés like when it rains it pours ♪
♪ But they don't live in faded houses ♪
♪ With damp buckled floors ♪
♪ And thieving neighbors who just wait ♪
♪ To go break down their doors ♪
(whistling, music continues)
Help! Help!
I need help! Help!
(man over P. A.) Good morning, a friendly reminder.
The anti‐bullying rally will take place at noon today.
Everyone is expected to attend... or else.
Telulah, wait up. Um, how's it going?
Did Jamie text you?
(British accent) No worries, love, Carlos is curiously well.
Just a small fracture, a little shaken is all.
Well, I'm happy for Jamie.
It's really hard to lose a pet.
So you're going to the Spring Talent Fest tonight, right?
Bollocks, unfortunately.
Cheers, Charles.
Oh, well...
See you there.
Yeah, see you around, Charlie.
Telulah.
I'm so glad we're lab partners.
Did I just see you with Charlie?
He's so nice.
Hashtag...
what do you think would happen to a can of shaving cream
if you added liquid nitrogen to it?
Um...
Should I just go to the moon now?
Yes. Claire?
It would expand enough to fill an entire school bus.
No way, no, that's not possible.
Wanna bet?
Thank you, Claire.
I hope gets you all a little excited
about our next unit featuring nitrogen.
(mimicking explosion)
Actually...
the same result can be achieved
using a conventional freezer.
You just have to freeze the cans of shaving cream,
cut the frozen blocks out of the cans,
and then place them in a bus.
Then walk away and let them thaw.
It'd be amazing to witness, don't you think?
(water bubbling)
I do a lot of experimenting at home.
I like, like, Bill Nye the Science Guy.
Yeah, me, too. That dude is dope.
Charlie has this friend, Josh, who I think is really cute.
Wait... wait, what?
You don't know Josh?
I know, it's like crazy. He looks so familiar to me.
I mean, I'm friends with him on Facebook,
but I'm not not going to friend someone
just because I don't know them.
That's just mean.
Hey, you know that girl Holly?
She said if she sees me outside of Facebook,
she's not my friend.
That's ironic because she's on Facebook all the time.
Like she's 30 and at home with kids.
Oh, Claire, don't be sad. She's... just jealous.
Oh, your‐‐ your goggles are starting to fog up a bit.
And‐‐ and it's probably pretty dangerous right now, right?
I mean, I see that‐‐
Claire, there's smoke everywhere.
That's just‐‐ that's not...
That's supposed to happen.
That is... supposed to happen.
(Mary) Telulah, are you on Cartwhl again?
What?!
No, I'm getting ready for the Talent Fest.
Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, Ma!
Warp Tour tickets.
Yeah, but did you do your SAT question of the day?
(clicking)
Ew, ew!
(clicking)
Who are you sending nudes to?
Oh, come on, honey, nobody's ever gonna see this.
Once it's out there, it's out there!
Gross.
I'm going back to my room to literally throw up.
Okay.
Can you drive me to school, though?
Yeah, sure.
(clicking)
(sighing)
Yeah, so nothing on All Time Low yet, but it was definitely Alex.
Took me all day to stop shaking.
Hey, you should get a balloon doggy for Hashtag.
Yeah, Hashtag...
Oh, I'm losing it.
Maybe because he saved your dog.
Hashtag hero.
He could be hot, you know.
Thank you.
I gotta work on that.
Gotta pee. Oh.
(guitar playing)
It's Man Overboard, his friend's band.
And they sound like Man Overboard.
Dude, you gotta film this.
♪ When the night gets old so I'm back again ♪
♪ The day just started because I'm up with my old friends ♪
♪ The fat smoke and funny joke ♪
♪ Sitting like a sponge letting everything soak ♪
♪ And I just got the nerve to get in the cage ♪
♪ So don't bite me now ♪
♪ And I just got the nerve to get in the cage ♪
♪ So don't bite me now ♪
♪ We made love tonight as the result of a fight ♪
♪ When you put your arms around me ♪
♪ The whole world's all right ♪
♪ And a day's worth of bitching goes down the drain ♪
♪ When you lay in my bed and pick my brain ♪
♪ Shut up, shut up, it's my turn to talk ♪
♪ Don't try and run before you learn to walk ♪
♪ Because a day's worth of bitching goes down the drain ♪
♪ When you lay in my bed and pick my brain ♪
♪ I left my heart with my phone ♪
♪ In my center console ♪
♪ I left my feelings ♪
♪ With my wallet and my keys ♪
♪ I feel so stupid 'cause I came here without anything ♪
♪ But I'm finally at ease ♪
♪ We made love tonight as the result of a fight ♪
♪ When you put your arms around me ♪
♪ The whole world's all right ♪
♪ And a day's worth of bitching goes down the drain ♪
♪ When you lay in my bed and pick my brain ♪
♪ Shut up, shut up, it's my turn to talk ♪
♪ Don't try and run before you learn to walk ♪
♪ 'Cause a days worth of bitching goes down the drain ♪
♪ When you lay in my bed and pick my brain ♪
♪ I left my heart with my phone ♪
♪ In my center console ♪
♪ I left my feelings with my... ♪
Telulah, check your phone!
"Fall Out Boy on hiatus. All Time Low, The Space!"
Come on, let's go!
♪ But I'm finally at ease ♪♪
What? It's him, he's not gonna press.
Oh.
Dude, Alex just Insty a hamburger
the size of Holly's head.
I'd recognize that burger anywhere.
What about commenting on Alex?
Jamie, that's the beef. I have Insty this burger.
Let's go.
(cheering and applause)
♪ You've got me poppin' champagne ♪
♪ I'm at it again ♪
♪ Caught up in the moment, but not in the right way ♪
♪ I'm falling in between... ♪
Jack just Insty the band in front of all these funny faces.
Oh, it's so cute.
That could so be an album cover.
It's not on my phone, but isn't that The Space limo?
Wait, stop the car. Stop, no, let us out here.
Yeah, mm‐hmm.
(Mary) Where are you going?
Let us out here, we're good.
♪ Follow me down ♪
♪ Take this all the way ♪
♪ Any way you want to ♪
♪ Why don't you say so? ♪
♪ I think I'm caught in between, the nights and days fly by ♪
♪ When I'm lost on the streets and my eyes they despise you ♪
♪ For who I am, why don't you say so? ♪
That's her aura.
What?
Telulah Farrow!
Hi, Telulah Farrow!
What the f...
(banging on door)
Coming.
(door squeaks open)
Yo!
Are you mad at me, Telulah Farrow?
I couldn't just blow off my new job.
Ms. Stacy helped me get it.
I do think that lady loves me.
Nice hat.
Oh, yeah.
How come you didn't tell me?
Hello?
Hi.
This is Darvan, my‐‐ my film partner.
Oh. Project.
Yeah, nice to meet you.
Thanks. You look very familiar.
What, really?
Mm‐hmm. Huh.
Yeah, I guess, I wasn't expecting someone so mature.
Well, yeah...
She means you don't look like a high school kid.
Oh, that's because I'm in the 12th‐‐
12th grade, ma'am.
Nice to meet you, too.
Uh, is your husband in Canada?
Canada? Oh, no.
No, my dad's in California.
Yeah. (whispers) In California.
Hey, listen to me.
I know where they're staying.
I know what room they're staying in.
And I know how to get in the room they're staying in
at the place where they staying.
What are you saying? What does that even mean?
Shh‐shh‐shh‐shh.
I have a plan.
All right. (chuckles)
Yeah. (laughing)
All right.
This is your big idea?
Yo, we can get to their room from the roof.
Ha‐ha.
Yeah.
Jamie, no!
(gasping) (distant music playing, singing)
Listen to their beautiful,
melodic, underdeveloped voices.
Like a girl's voice.
Darvan, it's them!
Darvan? Spray me.
It helps me suck more.
Yo, like a big E‐Z Pass.
You have to wet the plastic thingy so they stick.
So you want us to help lower you down?
Uh, it's real high, but don't worry about me, Telulah Farrow.
This can't fail.
I tied the rope to that thing.
No, how can that fail?
All right. (grunting)
Whoa, this is higher than I thought.
Still, hold onto that rope with your lives anyways.
If it slips, these plungers will save me.
I saw it in a movie!
Hey, I got it. I don't got it, ahh!
(screaming)
Telulah Farrow!
I suck too much, Telulah Farrow!
I suck too much!
I can't‐‐ I can't move!
Darvan, don't panic. Just, um...
Uh, use your legs.
Okay, now, try to break off the suction.
And fend off! Fend off!
(Darvan grunting) (Jamie laughing)
Jamie, yank it.
Yank it! I think I peed!
Oh, my God, he looks like one of those, like,
plush toys stuck to the car windows.
(Telulah) Hang on, Darvan, okay? (whimpering)
Now, um... what do you see? What are they doing?
Uh, making‐‐ making phone calls, I think.
Texting maybe. I... I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. This was supposed to be our‐‐
our big action scene, Telulah Farrow.
I hope they're not calling the cops.
(Darvan) My tee‐tee's are stuck!
My‐‐ my tee‐tee's are stuck.
(chuckling) Oh, my God, I have to Insty this.
Wait... dude... dude, someone already did.
(man) Yo, give me a knife.
Oh, my God, All Time Low's gonna kill Darvan.
(plungers pop)
(Jaime) Come on, Telulah, it's just like in gym.
I could never do those ropes in gym anyway.
And if you're holding my legs, I'm just gonna fall.
(weakly) I can't jump.
Well, I can't‐‐
It's like two feet, Telulah, just jump.
Darvan could be dead. (groans)
Look at this. Oh, my God.
We can't take these.
Jamie. There's a million of them, they'll never know.
God.
Oh, my God. I'm throwing up.
Really?
Damn it, Jamie, theoretic vomit.
Per usual.
I can't meet my favorite band
in the entire universe wearing this.
(sighs)
Do you think this is Alex's pillow?
Yeah, you think this is Alex's girlfriend's?
Mm‐hmm, don't touch that.
Don't‐‐ don't...
Wait, don't mess it up. Don't you need something to wear?
That's just creepy. That is so cr‐‐
This is so cute.
(keypad clicking)
(sighing) How are we gonna get there?
Call your mom?
No, seriously, the concert starts in like 30 minutes.
If we're going backstage, we basically have to be there now.
Maybe you should call your sister.
Darvan?
We almost thought you were dead.
No, Telulah Farrow.
I am not "almost dead."
They saved me, Alex or Jack.
They look so much alike.
And I just kind of go, "Hey."
And they go, "Hey."
They look nothing alike.
What happened?
Get in, get in.
Yo, they were late for The Space place.
So they were kind of happy to see me.
(Telulah) I knew they wouldn't kill you.
All Time Low is not like that.
(Darvan) Yeah, but that Vinny Vegas is one angry merch guy.
He could've killed me, Telulah Farrow.
Telulah! And friends! Oh, hi.
I'm so glad you're here.
Have you ever been backstage?
Come on. My dad owns the place.
♪♪ (cheering)
♪ He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes ♪
♪ Started making his way past 2:00 in the morning ♪
♪ He hasn't been sober for days ♪
♪ Leaning now into the breeze ♪
♪ Remembering Sunday, he falls to his knees ♪
♪ They had breakfast together, but two eggs don't last ♪
♪ Like the feeling of what he needs ♪
♪ Now this place seems familiar to him ♪
♪ She pulled on his hand with a devilish grin ♪
♪ She led him upstairs, she led him upstairs ♪
♪ Left him dying to get in ♪
♪ Forgive me, I'm trying to find ♪
♪ My calling, I'm calling at night ♪
♪ I don't mean to be a bother ♪
♪ But have you seen this girl? ♪
♪ She's been running through my dreams ♪
♪ And it's driving me crazy it seems ♪
♪ I'm going to ask her to marry me ♪
♪ Even though she doesn't believe in love ♪
♪ He's determined to call her bluff ♪
♪ Who could deny these butterflies? ♪
♪ They're filling his gut... ♪
♪ Tonight we lie awake ♪ They're playing "Vegas!"
♪ Remember how the coffee made us shake ♪
♪ On those long drives? ♪
♪ One more long night ♪
♪ Another seven days ♪
♪ Heartbeat racing the interstate ♪
♪ My home tonight ♪
♪ For one more long night ♪
♪ Filling his gut ♪
♪ Waking the neighbors ♪♪
It was literally the best night of my life.
Claire's dad, he helped us,
he even let us film it, and I'm right there.
And then Alex is right there.
So there's, like, very close proximity.
And he even remembered me from Jamaican Coffee Cafe.
And he said he liked "throw up" and I swear, he was like...
kind of looking at me
when he was singing "Remembering Sunday."
So...
Well, I'm sure you're not the first girl who thinks
that the singer of her favorite band is singing to her.
But that Charlie kid, he was definitely singing to you.
Did I ever tell you about the time
that I danced onstage with The Good Rats?
The Good Rats. Man, that was so stupid.
I was about your age.
I feel like whenever you talk about your life,
it's all black and white and sit‐comy.
Hmm.
I'm sure you texted Charlie already.
Are you listening?
I literally don't get you.
Okay, Telulah.
Well, you're being really mean, Telulah.
(sighing)
Hope you see this.
I'm feeling frightened and disturbed, Mr. Somma.
The bus, I fear it will explode.
(laughing)
(dog barks) Hey, little dude, that's not nice, man.
(man over P. A.) Good morning.
The debate team would like to meet,
but they can't agree on a time or place.
Hey.
Nice work on the Spring Talent Fest, Telulah.
Oh... (chuckling)
I felt like I was there.
How's your final project going?
I got some incredible footage at The Space last night.
But I don't wanna give away too much.
Hmm...
Telulah, these are still your "Wonder Years."
Logan Circle?
I don't know what you're saying to me,
but what I'm saying is that sometimes
we set out for one thing
and we're surprised by something else.
It's becoming a theme.
The hard part, though,
is deciding which is more important.
In life, sure, but...
especially in film.
I've seen a lot of music videos, Telulah.
Paul...
I have nothing to say.
Nothing.
I don't have a movie.
And I'm not going to win this, not for me...
you, or the school.
Nope, everybody's got something to say.
Look around, every kid has a phone in their hand.
Sure, they're not talking, but they're saying something.
No, not really.
Well, I would like to see what they're all not saying.
(chuckling)
Wait, Paul, that's brilliant.
Thank you.
(British accent) Charles.
I'm so sorry.
Wait, did you see my Talent Fest video?
No, Telulah.
I haven't checked your posts in the last 12 hours.
And, uh, yeah, you can lose the accent.
(British accent) Charles...
(normal voice) But, Charlie, it's really good. I think you'd like it.
For the guy who gave me the best night of my life.
You don't have to thank me again, Telulah Farrow.
It's just the way I am. Oh, my God, you scared me.
Now, we have to start handing these out, okay?
I texted as many people as possible, but...
Darvan‐‐ oh, um, here you go.
What is this? It's our group page.
You can post your favorite videos, tweets and photos,
and maybe we'll feature it in our movie.
No, I mean, what is this?
Oh, a flyer?
(man over P. A.) The Procrastinator's Club meeting scheduled for today
has been postponed until, uh...
What's this? A flyer.
(Darvan over P. A.) Everyone go to our group page.
It's called You Can Be in a Scorsese Film.
(man over P. A.) Hey, kid, give me that.
I'm the principal, not you.
(door shuts)
(sobbing)
(Claire) It's okay.
Claire? Who's crying?
It's Rosemary. I can't get her to stop.
She forgot her Twitter password.
And the email she used to create it is expired.
And now all her wit‐‐
all her wit is gone forever.
Remember, I had that tweet about
moms on Facebook. Moms on Facebook.
And all my hashtag activism.
You were so progressive.
Oh, my God, and I tweeted that photo of a landscape
made entirely of Snoop Dogg's face.
I was so proud of that, it got 30 favorites.
Calm down, did you tweet it or Insty it?
Tweeted. (sobbing)
Insty!
I told Josh you were not his type.
You are so mean, Holly.
Can't you see how sad she is?
Oh, she's sad. Ohh... baby, ohh...
I have to do this now. (giggling and cackling)
Someone should get that bitch.
(door slams shut)
Whoa, Darvan, you got a lot of people to post.
There are so many.
Bet some of these are pretty funny.
(music playing on laptop)
Charlie... Charlie?
He saw my post.
(Charlie) I, um...
I saw your video and, uh...
it was amazing.
I'm throwing up.
Yeah, see you soon. See you tomorrow.
♪♪
But she literally isn't on any social media.
Well, how does she even know anything. Right?
♪ Who's gonna listen when you run out of lies? ♪
♪ Who's gonna hear you when your words seem worthless? ♪
♪ Who's gonna save you when you're out of time... ♪
It's just what I always wanted.
♪ When you're on your knees, begging ♪
♪ Oh, please, take me at my word ♪
♪ I'm desperate ♪
♪ I swear, I never meant to hurt no one ♪
♪ No, oh ♪
♪ Please stay, for what it's worth, I'm desperate ♪
♪ You're on your own, so don't call my name ♪
(screaming)
♪ I will take you down ♪
♪ Should've known that you've been dancing with a wolf ♪
♪ So don't you call my name ♪
♪ I will take you down... ♪♪
You guys! (guy screaming)
(Mary) Hey, honey, you even had so many fantastic likes on that tweet.
What is your issue?
You don't like a tweet, you favored it.
Ask anyone, so basic.
You like a Facebook, you like an Insty.
You favored a tweet, you heart a Cartwhl.
I don't know, I'm just so proud of you.
I want everybody to know.
I might even blog about it.
You never blog‐‐ (knocking on window)
It's like creating a painting.
Oh. Hi.
Charlie, these are beautiful.
Oh... thank you.
Here's a goldfish.
Cool.
Wow. (laughing)
Yeah, I sort of asked around a bit about Fluffy.
My brother, he's like a fish whisperer kind of person.
(water splashes) Ahh!
Oh! Oh! Oh, no, oh, no.
Oh, no! Scoop it! Scoop it with what?
Okay, too soon. Um...
This mitt, use it. I don't wanna hurt it.
Scoop it. Scoop him up?
He's too slimy, I can't get him, I can't get him.
Don't step on it, don't‐‐ He's so slimy.
Joey, Joey! Joey, get the‐‐
Scoop him up. Scoop up the fish.
He'll be in shock a while. I'll keep him a few days.
If I'm lucky.
I mean, I can send you a résumé. I can give you one right now.
Yeah.
Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.
So I, uh...
I got your selfie. (gasping)
(overlapping chatter)
Yo, there's my name, Telulah Farrow!
♪ Tonight we lie awake ♪
♪ Remember how the coffee made us shake ♪
♪ On those long drives? ♪
♪ One more long night ♪
♪ Another seven days ♪
♪ Heartbeat racing the interstate ♪
♪ My home tonight ♪
♪ For one more long night ♪
♪ I'm sure as hell the happiest I've ever been ♪
♪ We get high... ♪
How do I look?
I bet I look so sexy.
♪ There's a ghost in this room ♪
♪ I think I'll name it after all of you ♪
♪ And watch it hang over my bed ♪
♪ Like decorations celebrated ♪
♪ Memories, they came and went ♪
♪ In light of all the time we spent ♪
♪ Listening to everything ♪
♪ Our parents told us not to take in ♪
♪ Now make a change, I'm counting down ♪
♪ The mile marks to every town ♪
♪ And falling more in love ♪
♪ With the distance put between us ♪
♪ We get high, we let go ♪
♪ We've got more than we know ♪
♪ My friends are a different breed ♪
♪ My friends are everything... ♪
My boyfriend's in a band, so I'm kind of like a groupie.
I mean, I'd never call myself that,
but like, that's what I am, so...
♪ So let us live our lives ♪
♪ Tonight we lie awake ♪
♪ Remember how the coffee made us shake ♪
♪ On those long drives? ♪
♪ One more long night ♪
♪ Another seven days ♪
♪ Heartbeat racing the interstate ♪
♪ My home tonight ♪
♪ For one more long night ♪
♪ From coast to coast, I'll make the most ♪
♪ Of every second I've been giving with this crowd ♪
♪ Without a doubt, you're all I dream about ♪
♪ At night we lie awake ♪
♪ With stories taking us back ♪
♪ To the nights we felt alive ♪
♪ The nights we felt alive ♪
♪ I would've married you in Vegas ♪
♪ Had you given me the chance to say "I do" ♪
♪ Could I make it more obvious? ♪
♪ Could you be anymore obvious? ♪
♪ I would've married you in Vegas ♪
♪ Had you given me the chance to say "I do" ♪
♪ Could I make it more obvious? ♪
♪ Could you be anymore obvious could you? ♪
(cheering and applause)
♪♪
♪ Well, the night gets old so I'm back again ♪
♪ The day just started 'cause I'm up with my old friends ♪
♪ The fat smoke and funny joke ♪
♪ Sitting like a sponge letting everything soak ♪
♪ And I just got the nerve to get in the cage ♪
♪ So don't bite me now ♪
♪ And I just got the nerve to get in the cage ♪
♪ So don't bite me now ♪
♪ We made love tonight as the result of a fight ♪
♪ When you put your arms around me, the whole world's all right ♪
♪ And a day's worth of bitching goes down the drain ♪
♪ When you lay in my bed and pick my brain ♪
♪ Shut up, shut up, it's my turn to talk ♪
♪ Don't try and run before you learn to walk ♪
♪ Because a day's worth of bitching goes down the drain ♪
♪ When you lay in my bed and pick my brain ♪
♪ I left my heart with my phone ♪
♪ In my center console ♪
♪ I left my feelings ♪
♪ With my wallet and my keys ♪
♪ I feel so stupid 'cause I came here without anything ♪